Fear Strikes Suburbia

INTRODUCTION:
This is the part of the show where everything goes down. Just after the beginning and shortly before it all gets to be a completely hellish experience for everyone until the end credits. Some twisted person decides to give you a glance into a slice of life of the common folk of the great nation of America.

THE HUSBAND AND FATHER:
An upper working class male, a clone of the business world. He drives up the driveway from another tiring day at his nine-to-five office job. He hops out of his not-too-expensive-not-too-inexpensive sedan exhausted but joyful because his company finally upgrade to a newer and slightly more expensive model copy machine with all the latest features. This is great news to him, which he intends to share with his wife, who for years now had not cared about any of his business and acted like she had some foreign object up her ass. But poor old papa just goes out and waxes his car, grin-and-bear-it style. Although essentially an old hag he still loves her, almost as much as he did when they met the first day of high school, or in the backseat after the football game, whichever was the true story it didn't much matter. Always thinking to himself, "Yep, she's a royal bitch sometimes and we havn't fucked since our youngest was conceived, but at least she puts the kids in daycare and she always is oh so nice to the neighbors."

THE WIFE AND MOTHER:
Only her husband and desperate late-night-pervert-dwellers-of-back-alleys think she is beautiful. Although she has her fair share of lady friends, she is always complaining about…something. “Oh my life is ruined I have no way of getting to coffee with Martha! (or Ruthie or Nancy or whoever else might be her lady friend) oh dear husband your such a lazy ass why don’t you take our boy to his soccer game which you never go to anyways.” She says it all in one breath like the overgrown teenage drama queen of the early 80’s she truly is. Dear Husband might open his mouth to object, but he knows he would only be losing a lost battle, so he backs off and complies to his wife’s/slave driver’s request/command.

THE DAUGHTER:
The oldest of the children, the rebel without a cause, the sex-crazed teenager, still learning to drive, and still unlicensed, sits smoking on the front steps of the school after class is let out. With her friends she feels invincible, superhuman, superior, but all this is only a farce used to mask her invisibility, subhumanness, and inferiority. She seemingly lurks constantly in the shadows and becomes increasingly mysterious in her parents eyes. With her over-mascara’d eyes she always peers at you into what feels like your soul, pale-faced and insanely bitchy even her own parents think they might have given birth to a vampire. She’s nocturnal, she hides beneath the dark cloud that covers her, only to truly awaken at night. The folks think she’s most likely: having orgies, fucking all of her werewolf and vampire cronies as if they were bunny rabbits, or making pagan sacrifices howling to the moon in the ancient chantings of…whatever with her naked breast streaked with the fresh blood of the latest school teacher to have been taken captive.

To be continued...